HUGE GAS LEAK THREATENS NEW YORK CITY

An invisible but potentially deadly cloud of methane gas is drifting towards NYC. The source is believed to be Charleston, SC, where the first GOP debate of 2016 took place on Thursday.
The toxic cloud is believed to originate from vast quantities of methane, popularly known as BS gas, emitted during the debate by the remaining 42 GOP White House hopefuls.
BS gas is normally a by-product of the bovine digestion process, but can originate in humans whose information processing systems have collapsed, leading them to become red in the face and utter random mooing noises. It has become widely known as "Trumping".

America's herd of methane producers is normally concentrated in the West and South, notably in Texas, but the BS they produce is randomly spread over the whole country by Fox "News" and the internet.
The new and especially poisonous cloud was directed specifically at NYC by Ted Cruz, one of TX's most severely affected BS producers. However, many New Yorkers are immune to criticism that they are "socially liberal".
New Yorkers have also become accustomed to occasional BS outbursts, especially since 2008, and have largely taken them in stride. "We're used to dealing with insane attacks," said one area resident. "If the terrorists couldn't take us down with airplanes, they're not going to succeed with BS."

Bring Up the Bodies
Hilary_Mantel

It's hard to find words to suggest just how good this book is. Colin Burrow does a good job in the London Review of Books:

http://www.lrb.co.uk/v34/n11/colin-burrow/on-your-way-phantom

It's a historical novel, but unlike any other I've read. It covers a well-worn area in English history, and the stories of a well-known group of characters, Henry VIII, Anne Boleyn, Thomas Cromwell; a bunch of lesser-known actors, and a supporting cast of fictional characters. But what is fact, what is fiction? Where is the boundary between reality and imagination? Is there a clear boundary?  Look at the various portraits of Anne Boleyn: they don't look like the same woman. Was she an innocent victim of Henry's lust for an heir and her family's lust for power, or a cold-hearted adulteress scheming on her own account? Is it possible that she was both, or neither?

The months between September 1535 and May 1536, between Ann's last pregnancy and her execution, are seen through the eyes of the King's schemer-in-chief, Thomas Cromwell. He is the master of outcomes, the maker of events; but even he, or he most of all, cannot always tell fact from fiction. He is not always interested: he wants to weave a tapestry to suit the times. If "the facts change behind us" he will unmake it and weave a different one.

But Mantel's book shows how the shadow of the old pattern survives reweaving: how shadows people the past, haunt the present and possess the future. As Colin Burrow reminds us, Mantel excels in describing the things seen out of the corner of the eye (Beyond Black, for example). So at the end of Bring up the Bodies, Cromwell sees not only his present solid triumph, but the shadow of his end. More even than the minute description of Ann's execution, it is a terrifying end to an entirely believable novel. But what is it that we believe? Look at Holbein's portrait of Cromwell, read this book, draw your own conclusions, and draw your curtains tight. Shadows are everywhere.

Time for a video-game version of Paradise Lost? Choose your path for good or ill! Great characters like Belial, Beelzebub, Lucifer! Win status -- angels, seraphim and cherubim, principalities, powers! The ultimate escape! "A mind not to be changed by place or time. The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a heav'n of hell, a hell of heaven."

There's a good bit of sex too, but you have to look for it, just like in the real world.

The Court that once was Supreme
Is no longer the top, it would seem.
They created a precedent
For making a president
Elected by corporate acclaim